This Road of Mine

My 40 th Birthday moments were/are a mixed bag of feelings. I am surely thrilled to be alive still and grateful for the time spent here. These four little decades have been action-packed, to say the absolute least. I have learned so much. I have relearned even more and still, am learning over and over again that I have not learned nearly enough. Got it? But I am absolutely sure of these things: I am a light. Each and every one of us are, but it takes some of us a bit of time to really get that. I got it. I’m just a soul who’s intentions are good, (Oh Lord please don’t let  me be misunderstood) Okay, that’s a song lyric, but appropriate. I never mean harm, no matter the harmful outcomes sometimes. I know that I can sometimes be misunderstood. But stay awhile, you’ll get me. I care deeply about many many things. I want everyone to eat. I want everyone to know about self-redemption, no matter what. I want girls to love themselves on a deep permanent

This is old, since December. Felt like posting it anyway... My 40 th Birthday moments were/are a mixed bag of feelings. I am surely thrilled to be alive still and grateful for the time spent here. These four little decades have been action-packed, to say the absolute least. I have learned so much. I have relearned even more and still, am learning over and over again that I have not learned nearly enough. Got it? But I am absolutely sure of these things: I am a light. Each and every one of us are, but it takes some of us a bit of time to really get that. I got it. I’m just a soul who’s intentions are good, (Oh Lord please don’t let  me be misunderstood) Okay, that’s a song lyric, but appropriate. I never mean harm, no matter the harmful outcomes sometimes. I know that I can sometimes be misunderstood. But stay awhile, you’ll get me. I care deeply about many many things. I want everyone to eat. I want everyone to know about self-redemption, no ma

It's almost time to leave job #1. Job #2 starts at 3.  To save gas, I won't go home during the 2 hour break.  I'll go to Panera instead. Of course I plan to enjoy a hot beverage.  Coffee?  I do like Panera's coffee though I usually go there for the potato soup and sandwich, you know, the Pick Two?  I usually like to have a green tea with no ice. But today I want something warm, don't know why.  I already had a medium McDonald's coffee.  Yummy as usual.  So I probably shouldn't have more.  I do not normally have more than a cup of coffee a day.  There was a time I quit coffee, for almost a month.  But something happened and I started again.  Now I am way deep into the once a day addiction. So, while thinking about what to drink, I was checking out a few minimalist blogs.  I like randomly clicking on a new blog and see what this new person is talking/writing about.  This blogger, wrote about the tragedy of her recent, very first cavity and how it prompt

The previous post was recycled. I wrote it some time ago.  It felt a shame not to tell what really happened this morning. Last night, I had a great great time in New Hope PA. Been there? It's such a cute quaint town.  So lovely. So many little shops with things you didn't realize that you just must have to carry on in this life. Because I am trying very hard to move over more toward a more minimalist lifestyle (which is funny for now, given all the crap I still have), I did not buy ANYTHING from this little town overflowing with stuff that wants to come home with visitors.  I am very proud of myself.  Very proud indeed.   However, I did indulge in some ridiculously yummy food.  I was not hungry because we were starving on our way over there and had to make a little White Castle stop.  Yeah, I know.... But, there was one of many irresistible restaurants, so dimly lit, so aromatic, so aromatic, so promising of a happy tummy, that we had to go inside. It was a smart ch

Eating yummy foods is one of my passions in life. Do I feel a little awful because I sometimes fail at balancing enjoying the yummy food and knowing when enough is enough? Occasionally. But not today. Today a little thing like a gulp of orange juice made me so happy, it was something I just had to write about. I poured the orange juice, Tropicana, into one of my favorite drinking glasses, a wine glass. I don’t really love wine, but the glasses are so beautiful that I just drink everything else out them. It makes me happy. I got this set from the dollar store. They really have nice things sometimes. You just gotta go to the big ones. Anyway, the orange juice looked so nice in that clean clear glass, I felt so grown up bringing it to the couch with me. I sipped a little here, it was so crisp and refreshing in my mouth, like someone in the kitchen juiced some oranges for me and put it right in my special wine glass. Of course they had to strain out the pulp, the pulp makes me sad. I s

I don't make this stuff up!!!! It's darned near 1am, Sunday night, Monday morning, whatever.  I was getting ready for bed, after being up way later than usual.  I move my pillow and right before my eyes appears the biggest spider I've seen since Brazil.  It was the size of a silver dollar.  It's leg span was like, as wide as a deck of cards, I think.  It was HUGE!  I froze.  I didn't know what to do.  It was too late to call on a man, in particular, the man who owns this house. There was no one but me.  I had to solve this problem of the humungous spider on my bed. So I stared at it for a good 10 minutes, hoping it wouldn't run and hide. Then I would have to find it or else never be able to sleep.  I tiptoed to a large piece of wood I had and held it in my hands.  I was going to kind of trap it and spray it with the bug spray I use for my roach infestation  -   (I hear your shocked silence.  I actually don't have roaches, but my house IS overrun with Sti

There is a calm around me, though very close is chaos, unsettled energy and a sense of uncertainty. This morning however, I am at peace.  The gifts started coming in bright and early.  Sunshine pouring in through my window, stroking my foot that escaped the covers.  The sound of nothing.  Quiet sounds so so good on weekend mornings.  I puttered around my beautiful quaint little living quarters (puttering around is my favorite weekend activity), doing nothing really.  But something was missing.  Coffee.  So I ran to Dunkin Donuts for a cup of coffee.  And that, was a gift that kept on giving. It's the smell of coffee. It's the texture of coffee in my mouth, that warm, smooth milky creaminess gliding down my throat.  Ah coffee.  Tea is wonderful. Tea is nice, but it's just not the same.  Coffee is my addiction. Hot chocolate is a close second on really chilly days.  But coffee is my life's companion.  Coffee is so so good.  I don't want to live without it. Next.

Another cloudy chilly day and still I am grateful for a bunch of random things: Mornings when I wake up (so far, its happened every day of my life). Love the whole possibility of being better than yesterday. Hope you woke up today too! Yummy food.  Had some tasty sushi foods last night. When one can tempura veggies and make you want more, one is talented indeed. 2nd chances. Okay, 7th chances.  Sometimes its just needed. Good coffee, hot chocolate and great tea too. Growth causing conversations. Cleverness and resilience (I've been makin a dollar outta fifteen cents for a minute now). Clarity My warm soft fuzzy blanket given to me as a gift. One of my favorites... My Macbook Music My friends. (They are AMAZING people and have added so much to my little life.) Intimacy.  So, I don't want to be bossy, but maybe you might wanna make a little list of some things that fill you with a sense of gratitude. Maybe it will make your day a bit better....

It's the coldest day of the season so far, and damp.  I know it gets colder in October, but I don't expect weather like this till after Halloween.  Seems like Halloween week is the first week of Autumn when you need on something heavier than just a sweater.  Today I needed a THICK sweater but didn't have one.  It's so difficult for me to embrace anything cold except ice cream. The wet cold air rattled my bones and didn't make me happy.  So, since I insist on happy Mondays, I had no choice but to go get a cup of coffee .  A large cup of coffee.  Today's coffee was McDonald's.  They have GREAT coffee.  Now I shouldn't have coffee, the caffeine is bad you know, but more so, I cannot fathom coffee without tons of sugar or those flavored creamers that are oh so yummy.  And that's pretty awful.  I did manage to stop for a while.  And I really don't drink it now the way I used to.  But if my morning ain't right, I run to coffee.  It helps.  Someti