Ahhh Nature is grand, isn't it?


NO!!!!! It is not grand!

Every time I think of nature or think that I want to be in nature,  I forget about one aspect of nature that is inescapable. And that is INSECTS!! BUGS!! YUCK!

So I live near a reservation now, and its very very lovely.
Lush green.
Fresh air.
Even the deer in the middle of the street looking at you confused, not sure what to do next is like living in a corny nature print hanging in Aunt Tilda's bathroom.
I love it.

Except for right now.

Right now I am sitting in my bed, listening to a symphony of crickets.
I like the song.
I like that the crickets have the decency to sing their songs, do their mating dance OUTSIDE OF MY LIVING QUARTERS.

Not centipedes however.
Not ugly, sneaky, mean little spiders.
Not mosquitoes.
Not moths.
Not stink bugs.
Not some grey little bug that I don't know the name of that curls up into a ball whenever you come near it.

No.
These creatures are rude.
Plain rude.
They want to live with me, be in my space, but I don't want any roommates.  Only I pay the bills up in here. GET OUT!!! There is plenty space outdoors you little demons. A world FULL of outdoor space.  GET OUT!!!!

I hear its because of the rains that there is an abundance of spiders and centipedes right now.  I want to use a pesticide on these bugs (I don't believe in killing stuff, but I am not willing to live with bugs that can get on me) because there are just too many.  However, I hear the spiders are supposed to eat the centipedes so I am hesitant.

But I am losing patience with these spiders though, because I don't see them eating anything.  They are not doing their jobs.  All I see them doing all day is hanging around in their webs in the corner of my rooms, while the centipedes periodically run rampant in my place, mostly my bathroom while I am trying to have some private time.  Get to work spiders!!!!! Or you will be getting pink slips via a Raid bottle!

My friend wants me to go camping with her and her friends in a week or two.
Sounds lovely doesn't it?
A natural setting ~ The moon ~ The Stars ~ Fresh Air ~ Crickets singing.......and hopping, and getting too close because I am after all, in their habitat......now that I think of it:
HELL NO I AM NOT GOING!!!!!

My idea of fun IS NOT being bitten by mosquitoes over and over and over again (by the way, FYI: this year mosquitoes are brand new.  Now we have mosquitoes that hunt us in the daytime, which totally seems against the contract we've always had with them, which was NO EATING TILL DARK!,,,).
My idea of fun IS NOT getting run into by moths.
NOT Swatting bees.
NOT ants trying to eat my food.
NOT flies trying to eat my food.
NOT watching grasshoppers somehow get inside of my tent that is SUPPOSED TO BE outside-proof, meaning, one would think: NO BUGS ALLOWED!!!

 I HATE BUGS!!!!!! (I am always worried about bears too, but that's another whole post altogether.)

Right now, I am in my bed looking around, horrified that one of those ugly, slithering too-many-legged creatures are gonna jump up here and get me. Is it true that you die if they bite you??????? That's what my brother said when we were younger....dragonflies too!!

So much for nature.
SOMEBODY COME SAVE ME PLEASE!!!!!




Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sage-in-Training (my few words on our Maya Angelou)

Image
Don't get mad. I think you might get a little mad, but I've got a truth to tell. I didn't always love Maya Angelou's writing.  It was just "okay" to me.  I loved some other author's works much much more than hers. I guess I liked make believe at the time more than I cared for a truthful story. Spin me a tale, entertain me - that's what I wanted. Maya didn't serve flowers. Just raw truth. But I bought and read her books because as a proper English Major I am supposed to and they look good among the other authors of the black canon section on display in my well-loved and cherished bookcase. Don't judge me... However, I LOVED Maya.  I LOVED Maya's presence.  I loved loved loved the moment she opened her mouth to talk. (Even when her long thoughtful pauses kinda annoyed me cause it turns out I'm not terribly patient.) Maya was: So Calm. So Regal. So Wise. So Patient.  So Beautiful.   So Dignified. ...
Read more

DONNIEE!

Unusual spelling.   Why two n's and two e's?   Why Donniee?  Are you sure it's not Dorothy?  Or Dotty?   Dolly?   I'm sure that's not the name they called you in high school.  Are you ashamed of your real name?   Who are you trying to be?  Well, I am not calling you Donniee.   It all kinda strange to me.  I was born, so I heard, Dorothena. But there's also a birth certificate with my name spelled Dorotheo.  My biological family swears its Dorothea.  I don't know guys, don't know what to make of all of this. Too bad I couldn't ask my mother, who died before I could ask her much of anything.  Like, WHAT-WAS-UP-WITH-YOU-LADY???  I wonder what she intended and what did she actually write down on some government paper or two. For my young life, I was indeed called Darlene. (Looked it up and it means darling). Well that's real deep.  And I guess I would accept it if I knew where it...
Read more

Strength Isn't Always a Storm: An Ode To My Mother

Welp. The Barnes Clan has successfully sent my father, Mr. William Aaron Barnes on his way to his next adventure with style, grace, and with heavy but full hearts. I do hope there are safaris and airplanes for him to pilot there, where ever that may be.... But you know how there's beauty in everything? Even the dark stuff?  I kinda love that about life. I'm a kind of girl who could be, in my dramatic-like way,  experiencing the end of the world (again), crying and feeling that all is lost, but stop for a moment to look at a lovely moon, a pretty bird, a stunning human.  Because ying and yang are real guys. In the midst of this two week familial journey toward our patriarch's final resting place, there were equal parts sadness and joy. I mean, I saw bad behavior, and I saw good, humble gestures of compassion. I saw inconsolable tears, I heard roars of laughter. I saw divisiveness, and a coming together. I saw me struggle through my own journey in this, while simult...
Read more