Broken Compass (Be Still and Know...)


"ALL WHO WANDER ARE NOT LOST"
That's always been me. 
I love to wander. 
What's over there? 
Where does that road go?
What would happen if I went left?

Some "detours" have been super fun. Big adventure. New and exciting. Shits and giggles. 

Other times those roads were NO BUENO!!!! Dark, dangerous, unsafe, scary. It didn't matter that I sensed I should not venture that way. It didn't matter (much) that the boogey man did indeed get me down some of those roads. 

It wasn't my biggest concern. No matter how long or where I wandered. I was good. I didn't know it clearly until recently, but I always had a working compass. I always knew where "North" was. 

North was Mommy. 
North was Exit 137 on the Parkway. 
North was my favorite kitchen stool by the wall telephone. (I remember being disoriented when I came home one day and the stools were gone. My mind was blown!! For a bucketload of reasons, that particular corner was the safest place I ever knew...)
North was unconditional love. 
North was yummy food. My favorite thing. 
North was a patient ear. 
North was "Don't you quit, you can do this, you'll be fine."
My compass worked if I acknowledged it or not. 
If I utilized it enough to navigate this crazy life or not. 
It worked.
North was there. 

My compass is broken now and I must admit that I'm a little lost. 
North isn't where it used to be, went and changed direction and I'm getting vertigo trying to get to it now. 

More hard inner work has begun. Again. My only choice (since resilience is my middle name), is to re-configure and fix my compass. 
I expect that I will soon remember that all my Norths are within me but gosh, it's hard to be still and know.... 

So... On this Mother's Day, 2021, 
If your North can be reached. 
If you can touch her / kiss her / see her / feel her / hear her / feed her / gift her / BE with her, I'm asking that you go ahead and do just that. 
And heck! If you can BE somebody's North for even just a little while, why not do that as well....

Me? I'll be wandering, toward the North in my heart...






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