This Road of Mine

NO!!!!! It is not grand! Every time I think of nature or think that I want to be in nature,  I forget about one aspect of nature that is inescapable. And that is INSECTS!! BUGS!! YUCK! So I live near a reservation now, and its very very lovely. Lush green. Fresh air. Even the deer in the middle of the street looking at you confused, not sure what to do next is like living in a corny nature print hanging in Aunt Tilda's bathroom. I love it. Except for right now. Right now I am sitting in my bed, listening to a symphony of crickets. I like the song. I like that the crickets have the decency to sing their songs, do their mating dance OUTSIDE OF MY LIVING QUARTERS. Not centipedes however. Not ugly, sneaky, mean little spiders. Not mosquitoes. Not moths. Not stink bugs. Not some grey little bug that I don't know the name of that curls up into a ball whenever you come near it. No. These creatures are rude. Plain rude. They want to live with me, be in my spa...

Lately I haven't been writing about my quest for,,, happiness? Is that my quest? Yeah, it is.  And yesterday I saw a show about happiness and remembered that I do want to be happier everyday!!!  I have found myself getting all caught up in what I am not, what I don't have, how much time I have left to get those things so that I can finally be happy. The ending thought of the show was that happiness can be acquired one day, one moment at a time.  I can do that!  So today, on my Saturday farmer's market, estate sale, garage sale ritual, I practiced happiness in every move. I looked into people eye's on purpose with a smiling heart (people get freaked out about eye to eye contact with a stranger sometimes). I gave a compliment on something small. I did a couple unnecessary nice things for people (okay, just one, but I was only out for an hour). I chatted up a farmer selling the squash, learning how to roast spaghetti squash. I chatted it up with the Lithuania...

Watching Shania Twain's show, mostly cause I love her love songs and she's just so cute.  She was talking about being uncomfortable with the thought that it seems recommended that everyone could use a therapist.  She's the "strong" type, so she's wondering,  "Can't we just work things out on our own? Why can't we just stand on our own two feet?" Her bandmate asked, "Why?" Why, indeed. I used to be the type of person who simply would not ask for help.  I'd do without, even in big ways before I'd ask for help.  And it is true that I did manage to work things out for myself, but I sure wasted a lot of time figuring things out on my own all the time. And now I believe that its pretty stupid to be such a soldier all the time.  There are people in our circles who are wiser, more insightful, more wealthy, more experienced than we are.  What a waste not to draw on those resources to make life a better experience...